This story has been updated due to security concerns of the family.
Yalda never planned to go to the United States — she would have preferred the United Kingdom. But her mother and sister insisted she apply for a job in her hometown of Afghanistan.
“I’m not sure why, but I think yeah, they wanted me to be able to go to the U.S.,” Yalda said, sitting in a coffee shop in Akron.
Her preference eventually changed after she met Robert of Summit County in 2018, when she had a job interview. That date, Robert said lifting his left hand, is engraved on the inside of his silver wedding ring.
In the next seven years, they would fall in love, live half a world apart, wed in a virtual religious ceremony, endure the COVID-19 pandemic, navigate a chaotic U.S. withdrawal from Afghanistan amid a resurgent Taliban and help her family resettle in the U.S.
Now after four years together in the U.S., they will mark another chapter in their lives together. On Valentine’s Day, they will legally marry in the Akron Municipal Court’s holiday wedding event at the Akron Civic Theatre.
“I thought, why not?” Robert said. “We’ve been together this long; we’re already married.”
From Afghanistan to Washington, D.C.
When Robert met Yalda, he was managing security projects.
Months after she was hired as an administrative clerk, Yalda and her sister grabbed coffee with Robert and took photos together. After the meet-up, he emailed her saying his favorite photo was of him and Yalda.
“I kind of knew he was trying something at that point,” she said, followed by a laugh.
After they began dating, Yalda introduced Robert to her family during a trip to Dubai, where they had lunch. Robert described it as “kinda like being on trial,” with her family on one side of the table and him on the other side.
Her mother loved Robert from the start. Even though her mother doesn’t speak English and Robert doesn’t speak Farsi, they share laughs and are good friends.
Her father, she said, took a few years to convince, but he came to accept Robert.
“My mom was the bridge with my dad,” Yalda said. “She told my dad to give it a chance.”
By 2020, Robert was recalled to the U.S. and promoted to a post in D.C. The following July, as the Taliban prepared to take over Afghanistan, he married Yalda.
Navigating two different cultures
As part of their Islamic faith, her family abstains from drinking alcohol and avoids pork. Women, she explained, cannot marry outside the religion, but men can. To make the marriage work, Robert converted to Islam and gave up alcohol and all pork products.
But then came another problem. Afghan weddings are huge and the celebrations are many. Some weddings can have over 3,000 guests, Yalda said.
Although Robert was stuck in D.C. for work and Yalda was in Afghanistan, the two wed via a WhatsApp video call ceremony that was not legally recognized by the U.S. Robert was in his house and Yalda was with her family at a restaurant where they drank banana juice, they recalled.
Escaping the Taliban
Yalda described her family as progressive and traditional. She and all but one of her sisters obtained higher education in the years between Taliban governments when the U.S. occupied much of the nation.
They were encouraged to get jobs and an education. Before the second rise of the Taliban — which has seen women’s rights and freedoms heavily restricted. They could even drive cars.
But when it became clear the Taliban were rising and the U.S. began leaving Afghanistan in 2021, Yalda and her family became worried.
“The Taliban don’t like it when women drive. Girls now can’t go to school after a certain age,” she said.
One week before the Taliban formally took over in August 2021, Yalda and her sisters fled their home with a wave of U.S. workers and Afghan contractors. On Aug. 7, she got her passport. The next day, she flew to D.C.
But Yalda’s parents and youngest sister were stuck. They didn’t work for the U.S. and couldn’t leave with her.
“They were stressed. They were worried because the Taliban were going door to door looking for foreigners and anyone who worked for the embassy,” Yalda said. “They were parked outside their apartment (complex).”
It took some time, but her parents eventually got a flight to Doha, the capital of Qatar, where they stayed for about two months waiting to seek refuge in the U.S.
“They could only bring a certain amount of cash,” she said, noting they had to leave most of their money behind. “They could only bring a few items. To their knowledge, all of their things are still in an apartment.”
Once in the U.S., they were held at Fort Bliss in El Paso, Texas, where thousands of Afghan refugees temporarily lived. Again, they waited, but Robert shortened their wait by buying them plane tickets and giving them a place to stay.
At the same time, Yalda’s two sisters who worked at Afghan embassies in other countries had to quit their jobs. They too fled to the U.S.
Settling down in the U.S.
To help with the move, her family often stayed with Yalda and Robert as they waited for visas and the necessary paperwork to find jobs and their own places to stay. Her immediate family is now spread across states like Ohio, Virginia and Texas, but they all keep in touch.
Yalda and Robert left D.C. in 2023 to be near his family in Summit County, where they now live with a German shepherd named Ranger. Yalda works remotely for Georgetown University while Robert still works for the same security firm.
Robert’s family was initially skeptical of Yalda, but they grew to accept her as her family accepted him. His kids are happy if he’s happy, Robert said, and he is very happy.
In Afghanistan, women don’t take their husband’s last names, as is tradition in Western nations, Yalda said. But that is one tradition she will break once they’re legally married on Valentine’s Day. Her parents, she said, will have to accept it.
“I’ll take his last name,” Yalda said. “My parents don’t know yet, but I’ll put an ID on the table and show them once it’s done.”
Bryce Buyakie covers courts and public safety for the Beacon Journal. He can be reached by email at bbuyakie@gannett.com or on X, formerly known as Twitter, @bryce_buyakie.
This article originally appeared on Akron Beacon Journal: From Afghanistan to Ohio, global love story has happy ending this Valentine’s Day
Reporting by Bryce Buyakie, Akron Beacon Journal / Akron Beacon Journal
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By Bryce Buyakie, Akron Beacon Journal | USA TODAY Network
