My wife and I recently celebrated our 55th wedding anniversary. Some advice from an old family therapist on staying together:
You don’t see 55 years of marriage much anymore. You have to be stubborn and tenacious enough to fight through tough times. We are a throw away society today.
Marriage is not a Hallmark love story, but something that requires hard work and the willingness to endure a lot of ups and downs. Once you get over romanticizing marriage, you will discover there is no greater accomplishment in life than the two becoming one. The couple becomes greater than the sum of its parts.
Anyway, we have been lucky to have 55 years together. We’ve had a good life, however challenging it might be at times. There are not really any time-tested secrets to a lasting marriage. You do, and you redo. Do and you redo, until you think you’ve got it. Then you do and you redo some more, until you come somewhere near getting it right. Then you say, “Ah, so this is what it’s all about.”
So, to all you couples out there with however many years of marriage, congratulations. In the words of Joseph Campbell, “when you make a sacrifice in marriage, you’re sacrificing not to each other, but to unity in a relationship.” More recently, the great philosopher Bon Jovi might have said it better. “How ‘bout let’s make some memories.”
Bruce H. Weik was a longtime columnist for The Zephyr and is co-creator of Many Paths Galesburg since 2019
This article originally appeared on Galesburg Register-Mail: Many Paths: Advice on making a marriage last decades | Opinion
Reporting by Bruce H. Weik, Special to the Galesburg Register-Mail / Galesburg Register-Mail
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