With Father’s Day coming up I figured that it’s time for a little Ron Swanson.
Who’s “Ron Swanson?” He’s only the manliest of men. The toughest, most independent, stoic city government employee this side of Pawnee, Indiana. It was Ron who developed the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness, which included such adages as “Skim Milk: Avoid It” (because it’s water that’s lying about being milk) and “Crying: Acceptable only at funerals and the Grand Canyon.”
In reality, Ron is a fictional character played by Nick Offerman in the NBC sitcom “Parks and Rec.” The show was a mockumentary that followed the activities of the bureaucrats who staffed the parks and recreation office in fictional Pawnee, Ind.
What I came to love about the show is that every character is genuinely good-hearted.
Even Ron.
Sure, Ron hates government (“There’s only one bad word: Taxes!”), and he sometimes intentionally calls people by the wrong name to prevent them from becoming “too chummy” with him. Oh, and he hates small dogs (“Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are useless.”). For the record, I love both small dogs and cats.
Still, Ron’s got a good heart.
Fans of the show know that one of Ron’s favorite subjects is food. Ron’s favorite meal of the day is breakfast. During one episode, he directs a waiter to bring him “all of the bacon and eggs you have.” In another, he declares, “If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party.”
Which brings me to this column. The burger recipes below are delicious. I made them for dinner several nights this week, and it was pure heaven. Yet, I couldn’t help but think that Ron would have been disappointed. You see, Ron loves things that are simple and to the point. He has no time for special sauces or aged cheeses. In fact, he once challenged a coworker to a burger contest. After his rival produces a ground turkey patty topped with fresh vegetables and aioli, Ron serves his burger and declares, “It’s a hamburger made out of meat on a bun with nothing. Add ketchup if you want. I couldn’t care less.”
The thing is, Ron is right. There are few foods more perfect than a grilled hamburger. When we want a simple dinner, we often simply season the meat with salt and pepper and top it with a slice of cheddar. If we are feeling fussy, we might toast the buns or add bacon.
Well, this a cooking column and you expect recipes. Thus, I have dutifully provided a number of fantastic burger variations that aren’t that hard to make and will make it feel as though you have rediscovered how good a hamburger can be.
They are perfect for Dad on Father’s Day. Most dads I know love to grill, and they love Ron Swanson. If your dad is like that, present him with these burgers and remind him of one last Swanson-ism:
“When I eat, it is the food that is scared.”
Swanson out.
Tips for grilling hamburgers
*We prefer using ground chuck to regular ground beef. Ground chuck is about 20 to 25 percent fat and has a wonderful flavor.
*Resist the temptation to flip burgers more than once while cooking.
*Don’t press down on the burger while it is cooking on the grill. This just presses out the meat’s juices.
*Always clean your grill before you begin cooking. You don’t want to taste last week’s burger while eating this week’s.
*Brush the grill with oil or cooking spray to prevent meat from sticking.
*To be safe, cook hamburgers to an internal temperature of 160 degrees.
Burger with potato chips and spicy mayo
This recipe comes from seriouseats.com.
I admit that this recipe brought out a bit of Swanson in me. While the spicy mayo is easy enough to make, I questioned the need for the potato chips. While I love a burger and fries, I wasn’t sure I wanted potatoes ON my burger.
I was wrong. These burgers are fantastic. The mayo itself is worth the price of admission. However, when you add the crunchy chips, you not only add flavor, you add texture.
That said, feel free to leave them out if you like, though Ron Swanson will be judging you.
Ingredients
¼ cup ketchup
½ cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon cumin, divided
1 tablespoon paprika, divided
2 cloves garlic, finely minced, divided
1 teaspoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon sugar
Kosher salt and black pepper
12 oz. ground beef
8 oz. ground pork
Cheddar, American or Swiss cheese, sliced
Onions, sliced (optional)
Lettuce (optional)
4 hamburger buns
Potato Chips (optional, but delicious)
In a small bowl, make the sauce by combining the ketchup, mayonnaise, 1 teaspoon of cumin, 1 teaspoon of paprika, 1 clove of garlic, the vinegar and sugar. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Set aside.
Combine the beef, pork, the remaining cumin, the remaining garlic, and the remaining paprika. Mix by hand until just combined. Form into 4 large patties.
Season the patties with salt and pepper. Preheat the grill and cook to your desired doneness. Top with a slice of cheese (if desired) during the last minute of cooking. Transfer to a plate and allow to rest for 5 minutes.
Assemble your burgers by placing any toppings (onion, lettuce, tomatoes, etc.) on the bottom bun. Top with the burger and then the spicy mayo. Sprinkle a few potato chips on top of the sauce and then add the top of the hamburger bun.
Makes 4 burgers.
Chicago beer burgers
The recipe comes from Bill and Cheryl Alters Jamison’s “Born to Grill: An American Celebration.” The Jamisons recommend making the ketchup at least a day ahead. I suppose this allows the flavors to “marry” completely in the refrigerator. I say, “suppose” because when I tried the recipe, I only gave the ketchup ingredients a couple of hours to get to know one another. It still tasted great. Thus, while allowing the ketchup to sit overnight is ideal, it is certainly not required.
Ingredients
For the ketchup:
1 tablespoon butter
1 small onion, chopped
6 tablespoons warm beer
1/3 cup ketchup
1 tablespoon white vinegar
¼ teaspoon sugar
¼ teaspoon salt
For the Beer-Braised Onions:
1 tablespoon butter
1 large onion, sliced thin
1 cup beer
1 teaspoon sugar
½ teaspoon salt
For the Burgers:
1 ½ pounds ground chuck
2 tablespoons beer
½ teaspoon Tabasco sauce or other hot pepper sauce
¼ teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
Salt and Black pepper to taste
4 hamburger buns
4- ½-ounce slices cheddar cheese (extra sharp works beautifully)
To prepare the ketchup:
Melt the butter in a large, heavy saucepan over medium heat. Add the onion and sauté until just tender (about 3-4 minutes). Remove the saucepan from the heat and add the beer, ketchup, vinegar, sugar and salt. Pour the mixture into a blender or food processor and puree until relatively smooth. Return the mixture to the saucepan. Set the heat to medium, and bring the mixture to a boil. Reduce the heat and allow the ketchup to simmer for about 12 minutes (stirring occasionally). Remove from heat and cool.
To prepare the onions:
Melt the butter in a large, heavy saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the onions and sauté, stirring frequently, until the onions are very tender (about 5-6 minutes). Add ¾ of a cup of beer, the sugar, and the salt. Cook until all of the beer has been absorbed by the onions and they begin to brown lightly (15 minutes). Add the remaining ¼ cup of beer and bring to a simmer. Keep the onions warm while the burgers are cooking.
To prepare the burgers:
Preheat the grill to high.
In a large bowl, carefully mix together the ground chuck, beer, Tabasco sauce, Worcestershire sauce, and salt and pepper. Gently form the mixture into four patties about ½ to ¾ inch thick.
Grill the burgers uncovered over high heat for 1 minute per side. Reduce the heat to medium and cook for about 4-5 minutes per side. An instant-read thermometer should read 160 degrees.
Serve the burgers on toasted hamburger buns. Top with some of the beer-braised onions and some cheese. Complete the flavor with a healthy dollop of your specially prepared ketchup.
Makes 4 burgers.
Michael Knock is a longtime food columnist for the Iowa City Press-Citizen.
This article originally appeared on Iowa City Press-Citizen: Serving up burgers on Father’s Day | Food Column
Reporting by Michael Knock, Special to the Press-Citizen / Iowa City Press-Citizen
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By Michael Knock, Special to the Press-Citizen | USA TODAY Network
