I once heard it said that the gods tend to favor a man who tries to complete a task that’s beyond his abilities. I sure hope so.
What happened is that the brakes on my faithful Geo Metro began to fail due to a broken brake line, which is a narrow steel pipe that conveys pressure on the brake pedal to the brake mechanism on the wheels. The brake line had, in fact, rusted away. Rust is rampant in that little car despite years of effort to control the deterioration.
And then, when I flexed the bad brake line slightly, an equally rusted-out fuel line soaked M Kinsler, expert mechanic, in gasoline. I had to remove the gas tank to get at that leak, at which point I found that I could no longer complete auto repairs while lying on my back. I was, in point of fact, too old, and the Geo Metro now resides in our garage awaiting salvation.
A bit of casual research revealed that vehicle lifts — the modern equivalents of old-time grease racks — had descended in price down to the level of affordability, and that there was actually room in our big garage to accommodate one.
Such a device would allow me to repair and restore the Geo Metro, and the 1964 Econoline, and Natalie’s Honda if she’ll let me.
And so began the lengthy process of 1. selection 2. determining transport, and 3. erecting the device if it actually got here. This was not easy, but through faith, hope, and a trailer rented from Tractor Supply, I managed, with some help, to get the monster into said garage.
And there it sat, for I could not figure out how to raise the pair of titanic steel pillars that comprised most of the machine. Ten feet long and maybe 600 pounds each, they had to be stood on end and bolted to the floor. It would be easy enough for Superman, but he doesn’t make house calls to southern Ohio.
After too much time spent thinking about it, I ordered an inexpensive, foldable shop crane warranted to lift 2 tons. This showed up on our front porch, presumably lugged up there by some loyal devotee of the aforementioned Man of Steel. It was packed, disassembled, into a flat cardboard container I could barely move. So piece by piece it was toted to the garage, there to be re-assembled last week.
At the moment, Shop Crane, assembled, is in the garage glaring at Vehicle Lift, non-assembled. All that remains is for M Kinsler to summon up the courage required to build the Great Pyramid of East Mulberry Street.
Mark Kinsler, kinsler33@gmail.com, is, according to an authoritative YouTube video on the subject, apparently on the right track with this enterprise. He continues to live with Natalie and her small cat in our little old non-historic house in Lancaster.
This article originally appeared on Lancaster Eagle-Gazette: A simple car repair turns into a massive DIY challenge
Reporting by Mark Kinsler, Special to the Eagle-Gazette / Lancaster Eagle-Gazette
USA TODAY Network via Reuters Connect
