I write about suicide prevention every year in September, which is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. And every year, suicides continue.
We’re not doing enough. Yes, I mean me and you.
Recently I saw a presentation by Randy Paige, retired fire marshal (after serving 36 years for the Corpus Christi Fire Department), who is an advocate for teen suicide prevention and awareness. He lost his son Colten to suicide 10 years ago.
It was a heartbreaking — but an informative — presentation. Randy went through the risk factors and warning signs, but he wove his son’s story into it, too. There had been signs six months before his son’s suicide, but the counselor Colten saw said he was fine. Colten also started to give away his prized possessions, another sign of suicidal behavior. That fateful day, Colten hugged his mom and told her that he loved her, then told both parents that he was going to a different church that day; Randy now says it was to say goodbye to his friends.
Later that day they got a text saying, “I love y’all. I’m sorry.” Randy has kept that text and put a picture of it in the presentation.
Tears sneaked down my cheeks when I saw it. No parent should ever have to go through that gut-wrenching pain (I can’t even attempt to describe it) — no one should ever go through a loved one’s suicide.
I believe that most suicides are preventable, and that’s on us. We need to know the warning signs and risk factors. We need to notice when someone’s behavior has changed. We need to be there for our loved ones. Some of us need therapy and medication, and that’s OK. But we need to change this awful trend.
Suicide is the leading cause of death in 10- to 14-year-olds in the U.S.! It’s the third leading cause of death in 15- to 24-year-olds.
That’s awful. We can’t just sit idly by and watch those stats get worse. We need to end stigma now. Stigma keeps many people from getting treatment and even seeing a counselor or therapist. According to NAMI.org, 46% of people who died by suicide had a mental health condition. That’s a high number, but we know it must be larger because a lot of people go undiagnosed because of stigma.
So how do we stop it?
We have open conversations about mental illness and suicide. Talking about suicide won’t give someone the idea to kill themselves. Even children have likely heard about suicide before (my daughter had, and she’s 10) from school, friends, social media, etc. Mental illness shouldn’t be taboo in your home, and I know suicide is difficult to speak about, but it must come out of that dark corner where stigma hides and breeds.
You also can attend an event dedicated to suicide prevention.
Ending stigma is difficult, but if you are a suicide survivor, please try sharing your experience. I’ve talked about mine, and I’d like to think that it inspired others to stay with us. To seek help. To find their light and shine again.
Please know that you are never, ever alone, even though you might feel that way. Your loved ones love you, and there are tons of resources in this city that can help.
I just can’t stop thinking about Colten’s last text to Randy and his wife. Randy has kept that text for 10 years; that’s the last communication he had with his son, and I imagine it’s still painful to look at even now. But he’s determined those words don’t come across another parent’s screen.
“I love y’all. I’m sorry.”
We are the ones who are sorry.
To get in touch with Randy Paige for a presentation, email him at rpaige23@yahoo.com.
If you are in crisis, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. You can text and chat, too.
If you need immediate help, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
Call the Local Crisis Hotline at 1-888-767-4493.
For more than 20 years, Heather Loeb has experienced major depression, anxiety, an eating disorder and a personality disorder, while also battling the stigma of mental health. She is the creator of Unruly Neurons (unrulyneurons.com), a blog dedicated to normalizing depression, and is the affiliate leader of the National Alliance on Mental Illness Greater Corpus Christi.
MORE FROM HEATHER LOEB
This article originally appeared on Corpus Christi Caller Times: Mental Health Matters: Suicide is preventable. We need to know the warning signs.
Reporting by Heather Loeb / Corpus Christi Caller Times
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