Do we need to “purchase” friendships? A psychologist named William Schofield proposes that we do and gives a reason why.
He maintains that often what initially presents as anxiety and feeling “off” is really loneliness. Despite all the gadgets we own and connections we make through social media, we are still vulnerable to feeling alone in the world.
Harvey Lieberman, a psychologist and founder of the Institute for Community Living, relates that Britain has designed care plans to match people with volunteer activities.
Dr. Lieberman notes that, “the challenge is often not creating new opportunities for connection, but helping isolated people discover and participate in the ones that already exist.”
Quoting Google AI: “Japan’s loneliness policy was formalized with the appointment of a Minister for Loneliness in 2021 and the enactment of the Loneliness and Isolation Countermeasures Promotion Act in April 2024. It mandates local government action to establish regional support councils, increase public-private coordination, and fund non profit outreach.”
It can be daunting to risk showing up to a community project or social situation, especially if you don’t know anyone there. Even if you do, it can take moxie to walk into a room full of strangers.
For example, I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to go to a first AA or another twelve-step program, even knowing there will be no judgment there. It’s easier to stay in one’s room.
Blaise Pascal, a 17th century philosopher and theologian, observed the inherent anxiety of life. When we consider the short duration of our time here, swallowed up in the eternity before and after, we can become frightened.
Being left alone without diversion invites introspection and sometimes depression because we feel our nothingness in the space of the world.
Another way to say it is that if we are alone in our room without anything to distract from unhappiness, some of us experience feelings of despair.
Sheltered in place, we are left to ask the inevitable question, ”Where do we derive meaning and purpose in our lives?”
Pascal’s Wager is a philosophical argument stating that a rational person should live as though God exists, because they have everything to gain and nothing to lose by believing.
This is where we often get stuck, especially when we’re alone. We lose faith in people and we lose faith in anything beyond what we are experiencing now.
If friendships don’t come easily, trying a few activities that involve other people can help. Any activity will suffice, even pushing a ball with a billiard cue. Something that involves another person.
My husband and I decided to throw axes on our anniversary in June. It was lots of fun (even though he got several bullseyes while I was lucky just to hit the wall), but we realized that it would have been even better if we had another couple with whom to “compete.”
If the two of us, mostly content with our pairing, come to the conclusion that we could enjoy an activity even more with others involved, then what about a single individual without a partner?
It is hyperbole to make the comment “bored to death,” but it is less so to say, “lonely to death.”
Blaise Pascal’s last words before he died on August 19, 1662, were reportedly “May God never abandon me.” Yes.
But may we also not be left alone in our rooms wondering what our purpose is or will be. Purchasing friendships is not a waste of time. Ever.
This article originally appeared on Amarillo Globe-News: Elise writes about friendships and love for sale | OPINION
Reporting by By Andrea Elise, Special to the Amarillo Globe-News / Amarillo Globe-News
USA TODAY Network via Reuters Connect
By Andrea Elise, Special to the Amarillo Globe-News | USA TODAY Network
