You’d think that after 40 years together, we would have matured somewhat. Tell that to Natalie, who delights in attacking a bare foot that happens to emerge from beneath the blankets. Or make her stop laughing when I start narrating a nature show on whales. This happens in bed when her (or occasionally my) stomach begins to growl: “The pod leader warns the other whales that danger might be approaching.”
A refrigerator-chilled carrot may be applied to the unsuspecting exposed neck of the victim. Or when my hands are covered in black grease from some garage job, I approach the innocent Natalie with extended arms and wriggling fingers. Restaurant soda straws often have loose paper wrappers, which can be blown at high speed into the person of anyone sitting nearby.
We delight in making each other laugh. Natalie was brought up in a traditional Italian family where nobody laughed. I am more of the show-business sort, from a competitive family where humor occasionally dulled the terror.
Natalie makes me laugh in subtle ways that can’t easily be described. And sometimes—often, actually—she doesn’t do anything except to be her sweet, self-contained, uh, self. As she works, she bustles around the house, talking to things, like dishes, clothing, and of course, her cat.
She quietly gripes about a driver stopped at a traffic light: “Oh, what an interesting shade of green.” But usually she keeps her feelings well-controlled and well-concealed. That way, I don’t know when she is furious at me, which I assume is hourly.
The gentlest of creatures, she nonetheless has a wicked sense of humor and refuses to be horrified at any of my evil fantasies. Example: if we see a particularly fine house, she will assure me that the paperwork alone would make it impractical to just go in and kill the occupants, as I have suggested in the past. Ahem: no, we wouldn’t, and I’m sorry to report that advancing age has lately made me more cautious..
I still manage to leer at attractive women: ”I would drag her into the forest,” I tell my long-suffering spouse.”
The response: “Your teeth would fall out.”
Considering our backgrounds, we are exquisitely careful not to attack our most vulnerable areas, for we are both pretty fragile in that respect and never wish to hurt each other in the raucous give-and-take of our daily lives. That does not prevent us from thoroughly enjoying each other, and I hope it never does.
“I still love you,” she says.
Mark Kinsler, kinsler33@gmail.com, is probably skating on thin ice, but he continues to live with Natalie and her cat in our little, overstuffed house in Lancaster.
This article originally appeared on Lancaster Eagle-Gazette: After 40 years, this couple’s playful humor keeps their love strong
Reporting by Mark Kinsler, Special to the Eagle-Gazettte / Lancaster Eagle-Gazette
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