Lindsay and Lexi Suman will graduate from Mamaroneck this spring. In a sense, their mom Bari Suman is, as well. The Mamaroneck athletic director, who’ll turn 55 this month, has decided to retire at the end of the school year.
She came to Mamaroneck in the fall of 2004 — young for an AD — but with a resume a mile long and steeped not just in physical fitness, but also administration. The SUNY Cortland graduate wore multiple hats during and after attending graduate school at Syracuse University. Suman, who’d worked summers during high school managing a pool at a Suffern condominium complex, held jobs up there from everything from school swimming instructor to an athletic coordinator to an assistant principal.
Suman, who met her husband, John, in Syracuse, where he was a substitute teacher, helped develop curriculums and form school budgets and was part of a team that secured a multi-million grant. She was so well regarded that she was selected to be an assistant principal without even having applied for the post. She praises the multiple mentors she had when starting out — when she was so young and so young looking, that, as she recalls with a laugh, a student invited her to his prom.
Mamaroneck was her first athletic director job and there was an element of learning on the fly. “You don’t know, what you don’t know” largely served her well.
During her tenure as director of health, physical education and athletics, student numbers have grown, Mamaroneck’s athletic success has grown, parents’ expectations have grown and her hours and her responsibilities have grown. The latter things have contributed to her decision to leave now with fan behavior playing at least a small role. She’d like a school administrator (besides herself) at games and agreement on what is and isn’t acceptable for fans to say and do. She calls Mamaroneck-Scarsdale the “most unhealthy rivalry in sports” because of fan behavior.
And parental complaints about coaches, which have risen since COVID-19, when with club play at one point the only play and parents developed “more of a voice,” some have also chased coaches and would-be coaches.
But Suman, who oversees 84 teams and 33 health and phys ed staff members and more than 100 coaches, has many more positive things to say than negative. She points with pride at things like starting athletic programs and a physical education program for students with challenges, starting the successful high school varsity boys and girls skiing programs, starting girls flag football and watching as Mamaroneck claimed its first ever state championship – field hockey in 2004 – to now owning 21.
Has it been sometimes a bumpy ride and often an exhausting one? Yes and yes. But Suman, who might have become a physical therapist except for the chemistry requirements, says it has been well worth it.
Suman, one of only eight women locally currently either a school athletic director or athletic coordinator (out of 80 in all) will be replaced by current Pelham AD Joe Toombs.
Q: Where did you go to high school, when did you graduate and what sports did you play?
A: I graduated from Suffern in 1989. I did two years of softball, two years of track, four years of soccer and three of basketball.
Q: Did you play in college and what did you major in?
A: I played two years of soccer at SUNY Cortland. I majored in physical education.
Q: You had multiple education jobs in Syracuse. What did you like about working there?
A: I loved the city and I loved that I made a difference. A lot (of kids) had no one to cheer for them. I had parents my age (very young) with middle school (children).
Q: How did you get down here?
A: I wanted to be near my parents and continue to do this kind of work. I applied for four jobs. I applied for dean students at East Ramapo, assistant principal in Harrison, athletic director in Ossining and athletic director at Mamaroneck High School. I did that in the late winter/early spring of 2004. Normally, people were getting jobs because of who they knew and what they knew. When i got that job, nobody knew who I was but I had lot of administrative experience.
Q: What was right about Mamaroneck?
A: The reason I applied for Mamaroneck athletic director is I did research on the district and it was most like Suffern. I loved my high school experience. …. It was demographically similar. It had diversity — socio-economic and ethnic. … When I took the job I didn’t know what I didn’t know but I felt this was my dream job. I can grow in this job and this is my forever job. After a year, people asked, ‘What’s next?” Did I have aspirations to be superintendent or assistant superintendent. But after being an assistant principal for two years, I knew I never wanted to do that again — deal with problems all day and putting out fires. …. The cool thing about Mamaroneck …. I had community support. Moms talked to me the first couple of years (about being a female AD) and how good that was for (their) daughters. I didn’t think of myself as a trendsetter.
Q: You live in New Rochelle but your daughters attend school in Mamaroneck?
A: I needed to be able to get them. I was never able to manage meeting a bus or getting them off the bus. They started school In New Rochelle but came to Mamaroneck in first grade. I’ve done the job for 18 years while having kids. My husband has been incredible — amazing.
Q: Why aren’t there more female athletic directors?
A: It’s just the hours (if you have/want children). It’s just the infinite number of hours. Good ADs get as many emails as superintendents. It’s not a lie, although (athletics) is less than 2% of the operating budgets of districts.
Q: What are the kind of hours you work?
A: I can work an 80 hours in six days when there are state runs for a lot of (our) teams. More often than not, it’s 50-60 hours most weeks.
Q: What has changed that’s a positive since you started?
A: Facilities. Mamaroneck probably had the crappiest facilities around. (We were) part of one of the first private-public partnerships — school district and community. Fields for Kids. They fundraised for the first turf field in Mamaroneck. (It) went in in 2010. … I feel like we raised money for that field one chocolate bar at a time. You were literally running uphill toward Boston Post Road. It was really cool to invest in facilities. Now there’s a second turf field at Flint Park. There are two grass fields behind Hommocks (Middle School). Athletics now has over 30% of kids at the high school and middle school — it can go 30-40 % — playing sports. But (many) don’t play multiple sports because of specialization, because of clubs.
Q: Is that an increasing problem — clubs vs. school sports?
A: 100% increasing problem. I still battled it with my own kids to make (playing both) fit. (Clubs have created) really unrealistic expectations for parents. They’re expecting a return on their investment on tens of thousands of dollars. My kids played two club sports. One played lacrosse and volleyball and the other lacrosse and field hockey.
Q: Are they going to play in college?
A: Lindsay will play lacrosse at Cortland. Lex is going to play lacrosse at George Washington in D.C.
Q: What are some problems with clubs?
A: (Some parents with kids in club) think they’re paying, so they expect better than what (they think) you’re giving them (with the high school program). Those who grew up in sports, there was a resiliency taught — how to fail in the safest environment. We want other kids to have that environment, too. In the real world (you can) get smacked down. Parents, through clubs, have tried to navigate it so (their children) don’t have bad experiences. … You can take your check anywhere you want. … (Some) only want them on top-25 (teams). I don’t always think the most success comes from winning. I think you have to face hardships. … Sports should be like authentic. If you do everything for your kids, what have they won?
Q: Are there other problems?
A: There are 24% Hispanic (children in Mamaroneck) and the low socio-economic rate has gone up in the 20 years I’ve been here. Those kids are kind of immediately axed out (from clubs). We have two field hockey and two volleyball teams to give kids their first opportunity to play.
Q: What things are you proud of?
A: The community of Mamaroneck prides itself on diversity. In 2008, we had people live in the gym for a month while school was going on (due to flooding in the community). …We did a lot of education with the community (prior to a health and safety capital improvement bond being passed). So now, we have hot water and showers on both sides of the building and our locker rooms are not disgusting.
Q: If you had a magic wand to do something what would it be?
A: I call us sports rich and land poor … In front of the high school, my goal would be to build a parking garage with a field on top of it and to have two full-size turf baseball field. It’s not that I hate nature and want the whole world turfed. It’s the idea that the community loves sports …. and you can’t have 8- and 18-year-olds playing (all the time on a grass field). … We keep looking at Band-Aids. I’d like to get Larchmont, Mamaroneck and the Village of Mamaroneck together all in one room and for someone to design athletic facilities to maximize space. I don’t feel I’m effective anymore (in advocating for this). I’m monotonous. I don’t want to be resentful.
Q: One thing people talk about is fan behavior getting worse. Is it and, if so, when did this start?
A: I used to worry about kids — what they say, what they do. Now, it’s equally about parents. making sure they don’t lose their mind. … There’s an expectation of our behavior. It’s a job (monitoring) but not a joke. Keep your house clean. That part of the job has become exhausting. I’m fighting with high school parents yelling, “It’s all your fault.” (at a kid) when a goal goes in. It’s disgusting.
Q: It seems coaches are also under attack. True?
A: There are so many, so many instances of coaches being under attack. … With COVID, parents were paying for everything (with school programs shut down.) They had more of a voice. … And club coaches are making a lot more money. … You can see why people don’t want to (coach high school).
Q: How has your job changed?
A: I make sure teams are confirmed, buses are confirmed, fields are set up in the way they’re needed to be, the sound system and scoreboard (work). Now I’m going to be monitoring some jerk who’s saying something inappropriate. I’m the facilities manager, the site supervisor and trying to run the athletic program and it’s just exhausting. … After COVID, we wanted everything back (but there were staff cuts). Maybe I’m an enabler. I had a grounds crew every Friday night. I just started getting one person back.
Q: Joe Toombs is replacing you?
A: .He’s the first teacher I hired in Mamaroneck. He’s a great guy and he’s going to love this place as much as I do. … If there’s one thing I’m grateful for it is I believe Mamaroneck coaches are the best around.
Q: Where are high school sports going? What do you see happening in 10 or 20 years?
A: I think we could be eliminated for club if something doesn’t change. I think sports should do what they’re supposed to do and let (kids) fail. … The best possible sports scenario (is to play multiple sports and) be best on one and worst at another. That gives you perspective.
Q: What are the things you’ll remember with pride?
A: Some of the wins, the accomplishments and firsts — football and basketball winning their first titles. … I added the ski program in 2010 maybe…. Both girls and boys won state championship in skiing. … We added flag with a half schedule for varsity last year. … This year, there’s full varsity and JV. … We added unified (sports and gym for challenged students). That was the best experience. fulfilling, rewarding. This is like the fifth or sixth year. … The things I’m proud of are things that create positive experiences for kids .
Q: Why are you retiring now?
A: I have loved my career and wouldn’t change it for the world but I do think the landscape is changing and I really wasn’t sure how to change with it.
Q: Do you have plans to do something else?
A: My job has been my whole identity. I don’t hang out with friends too much. I went to school together (with my daughters) the last 12 years. Three was always justification for 12 -hour days. I was working but I got to see them. .. I was worried with them (gone), I’d work more and worried I’d work more and I just don’t have that in me. I’ll never say never. There may be an interim gig but nothing will be like work I’ve done at Mamaroneck. It was kind of like being on a high school team. At Mamaroneck, once a Tiger, always a Tiger. I do think everything about me is Mamaroneck orange and black.
Nancy Haggerty covers sports for The Journal News/lohud.
This article originally appeared on Rockland/Westchester Journal News: Bari Suman reflects on 20 years leading Mamaroneck athletics
Reporting by Nancy Haggerty, Rockland/Westchester Journal News / Rockland/Westchester Journal News
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