For some men, loneliness is not always visible. It can look like going to work, watching the game with friends and telling everyone they’re fine — while having nowhere to be fully honest about the stress, grief or depression they’re carrying.
A 2025 AARP study found that 40% of adults age 45 and older reported being lonely, up from 35% in previous surveys. The same study found men in that age group were more likely than women to report loneliness.
“Loneliness is one of the most significant yet often overlooked contributors to men’s mental health challenges,” said Neeley Hughey, a licensed mental health counselor, certified life coach and founder of Coastal Wellness and Life Coaching Center in Melbourne.
“As men age, social networks frequently shrink due to retirement, divorce, relocation, health issues, or the loss of family members and friends,” she said. “Many men have historically relied on their spouse or partner as their primary emotional connection, leaving them particularly vulnerable if that relationship changes.”
According to Hughey, chronic loneliness is linked to increased rates of depression, anxiety, substance misuse, cognitive decline and physical health problems. “Human connection is not simply a social need,” she said. “It is a critical component of emotional and physical well-being.”
A shrinking circle
The loss of connection can be especially difficult for older men, whose friendships and routines may have been closely tied to roles that change with age.
As director of One Senior Place Brevard in Melbourne, Angelina Higgins said many older men experience a significant loss of social structure later in life — whether through retirement, the death of a spouse, health changes or caregiving responsibilities that slowly narrow their world.
For many men, she said, work was not only a source of income or identity, but also their primary source of daily connection. When that routine ends, rebuilding a social life can be difficult, especially for those who are not used to actively seeking out support or companionship.
Community programs can help fill that gap by giving older adults regular opportunities to connect with others. At One Senior Place, Higgins said offerings such as educational seminars, networking events, support groups, social gatherings and a Veterans Social Club are intended to help seniors remain active, engaged and socially connected.
“We often find that simply getting people out of the house and around others can make a tremendous difference,” Higgins said.
The ‘buddy trap’
While many men may have social connections, fewer have close relationships. The Survey Center on American Life reported a sharp decline in close male friendships over the past several decades, including a rise in the share of men who say they have no close friends.
Ari Schwartz, a registered clinical social work intern and therapist at Dandelion Therapy Group in Titusville, said part of the loneliness problem for men begins with the way boys and men are often socialized.
While women are more often encouraged to build deep, emotionally honest relationships, Schwartz said many men are taught that vulnerability is weakness and that emotional literacy has little value. Over time, that can make meaningful connection feel difficult — even foreign.
He also pointed to what he calls the “buddy trap,” where men may have people to spend time with, but few they can truly open up to.
“These are acquaintances or surface-level friends who meet a need for connection to an extent,” Schwartz said. “But when you need to talk about what you’re really going through, that’s where the buddy system falls apart.”
Casual friendships matter, he said, but they are not always enough to protect men from isolation. What many men need, Schwartz said, is not just someone to watch the game with, grab a beer with or talk to in passing — but a friend with whom their guard can come down.
“You don’t just need a buddy; you need a friend — one you can be vulnerable with,” he said.
A different kind of therapy
For men who are uncomfortable with the idea of sitting in a room and talking through painful emotions, the word “therapy” itself can feel like a barrier. But today, clinicians can draw from a range of therapies that are more structured, experiential or action-oriented, offering men different ways to process trauma, anxiety, depression and stress without having to immediately put every painful experience into words.
“Many men are hesitant to engage in traditional talk therapy, particularly if they have spent years being taught to suppress emotions or solve problems independently,” Hughey said. “In my experience, many men are willing to seek help when therapy is presented in a way that feels practical, goal-oriented, and effective.”
Hughey said therapies such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART), can be appealing because they help clients process experiences without requiring extensive verbal discussion of painful events. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), can also help men better identify, understand and communicate emotions — and Virtual Reality Exposure Therapy provides a more action-oriented approach.
Jessica Karle, clinical psychologist and CEO of Coastal Psychiatric Urgent Care, said that for many middle-aged and older men, the message they absorbed early in life was that vulnerability should be hidden. That kind of generational stigma, she said, can deepen isolation and lead men to withdraw or try to “tough it out” until emotional distress becomes more serious.
“We are actively working to change that narrative by making therapy feel more accessible, confidential, and practical for men of all ages,” Karle said.
This reporting is supported by a Journalism Funding Partners grant. Mental Health Reporter Jennifer Torres can be reached at JMTorres@gannett.com
This article originally appeared on Florida Today: The loneliness gap: Why men may struggle to open up
Reporting by Jennifer M. Torres, Florida Today / Florida Today
USA TODAY Network via Reuters Connect
By Jennifer M. Torres, Florida Today | USA TODAY Network
