Gary Anderson of Royal Oak struggles to understand the death of his daughter, Amanda “Mandy” Karolkiewicz, and his six grandchildren at the hands of his son-in-law.
Mandy, her husband and their six children were found dead in their Grand Haven Township home on July 24. Kristopher Karolkiewicz, 47, shot and killed the children, ages 5 to 15, and Mandy before starting a fire and shooting himself, law enforcement officials confirmed this week.
The loss remains surreal for Anderson and has left the grieving father and grandfather yearning for the truth.
But he won’t speculate about what happened inside that house.
“I love my daughter Mandy, and I loved those six children. In a way, I still love Kris,” Anderson said from his Royal Oak home this week.
“I struggle to understand the why,” Anderson said. “I’m sure that will come out in the future. I have no idea why. Speculation is what I have a disdain for. It’s very clear that he did what he did.”
Police said they’ve yet to determine a motive but continue to investigate. The deaths of Amanda and all the children have been ruled homicides, while Kristopher’s has been ruled a suicide, authorities said. The family’s pets also died due to the fire.
All eight died of gunshot wounds, the Ottawa County Sheriff’s Office said Monday. Relatives have confirmed the children’s names as Keegan, Bennett, Caroline, Ella, Smith and Teddy. Social media posts show that Mandy Karolkiewicz and her daughters had just returned from their trip to China on July 17.
The couple struggled with a fraught marriage and accusations of infidelity, according to posts and comments from a Reddit account matching law enforcement details for “Mandy.” The Holland Sentinel found and independently confirmed the authenticity of the account on Monday by matching details about the couple’s marriage dates, ages, children, occupations and residence.
Emily Jones, a family spokesperson, told WOOD-TV that the family has no way to confirm that Mandy made the Reddit posts.
“It’s very clear that whoever wrote that, they were using Reddit as an outlet to seek support in a bit of anonymity, because for whatever reason, they felt they couldn’t seek it in their real lives,” Jones told the TV station. “I think that that’s sad in and of itself, whether it was Mandy or somebody else. It’s sad if somebody feels like they can’t speak their fears out loud outside of something like Reddit.”
‘Everyone struggles in life with something’
Anderson said he holds the view that no one’s legacy or worth should be based on “the worst thing they did on the worst day of their life.” He said everyone has their own challenges, including his daughter and his son-in-law.
“That was true for Kris individually and for Mandy individually,” Anderson said. “I can look around a room, and there are people who are struggling. You can conclude everyone struggles in life with something.”
“I struggle with the fact that, with all the time I knew him, he was a good father and a good husband,” Anderson said. “I was aware of some failures that entered their relationship. I have no idea what happened. Unless you are in the middle of that relationship, you don’t know for sure.”
According to the Reddit account, Mandy said in July 2024 that she had no contact with her dad, his side of the family, her sister, Molly, and her husband’s father and his side of the family.
“I just have my husband and his mom, step dad and brother, our kids, and my mom and step dad,” she wrote in a post. “And since I got rid of the people who I was only in contact with BECAUSE they were family: my circle is smaller, but life is SO peaceful. There was ALWAYS chaos and drama — and now I choose peace. We’re super straightforward with our kids. They know we harbor no ill will, and know that it was a hard decision.”
The News reached Steve and Becky Lawwill, Mandy’s stepfather and mother, and the couple said they were not ready to speak to the media. Funeral services for the family have not been made public.
Limited contact between father and daughter
Anderson admitted he had not spoken to his daughter for several years, that he contacted her at Christmas and sometimes he heard back from her, sometimes he did not.
“She felt it necessary that I and her sister not be a major part of her life,” Anderson explained. “I never gave up; I always tried. It was never explained to me why. She never told me why. I wish I knew.”
“I have really missed her for the last couple of years,” he said.
Even as a child, Mandy, as she was called starting at a young age, was an independent and headstrong girl, her father said.
“As a young lady, she seemed committed to having it her way, but it was more of being certain of what she wanted at any particular point,” Anderson said.
Family-oriented even as a child
Mandy grew up in Royal Oak and attended Southfield Christian Schools from kindergarten through 12th grade.
Anderson recalled when Mandy graduated from high school, and the seniors spoke about their future plans.
“Some wanted to be a doctor and lawyer. She aspired to be married as soon as possible with three or four children. I’m sitting there thinking that is quite unusual for that time,” he said.
Anderson said his daughter did attend college, first at Michigan State University and then at Western Michigan University, where she graduated with a business degree.
“She was focused on the home, and she did not have tremendous career drive,” he said. “She was very bright and very creative.”
In her Reddit posts, Mandy shared extensively about her life, parenting and the challenges in her marriage.
She detailed going back to school to get a graduate degree in teaching. She was a substitute teacher in the Grand Haven Area Public Schools. In January, she was recognized for her service to the district as a “premier” substitute at Peach Plains Elementary School.
She also shared in great detail the struggles she and her husband had after he had an affair, seeing a marriage counselor and still being “triggered” years later.
“Trust is SO hard to rebuild,” Mandy wrote two years ago. “Every time there is an illusion of deception, I move back to square one and question everything he says or does.”
Grand Haven Area Public Schools officials declined a request for an interview about Mandy and referred The News to a statement it made on its social media posts about the incident.
jchambers@detroitnews.com
This article originally appeared on The Detroit News: Father of slain Grand Haven Twp. mother: ‘I struggle to understand the why’
Reporting by Jennifer Chambers, The Detroit News / The Detroit News
USA TODAY Network via Reuters Connect
By Jennifer Chambers, The Detroit News | USA TODAY Network
