June is Pride Month. To mark the occasion, the Sheboygan Press connected with the Sheboygan County LGBTQ Alliance to provide a chance for people to share personal stories of Pride. Here is the second in a series.
Pride Month serves as a reminder of the LGBTQ+ community’s struggles and ongoing fight for equality.
The opposite of pride is shame, and June Pride celebrations showcase the idea that people shouldn’t be ashamed of being their authentic selves, something everyone should celebrate.
To us, Pride means having the same rights as all Americans, including the options to marry, adopt children and have structures to take care of our family.
Like many in Sheboygan, Kathi’s roots in this community run deep. Her great-grandparents emigrated here from Lithuania in the early 1900s to escape religious and political persecution. They helped settle Immaculate Conception church upon arrival. Now, five generations of her family have lived in Sheboygan. We both spent our entire careers in the area, got married here, raised our children here and have been able to do so with pride.
We were the first same-sex couple to adopt children in Sheboygan County. When we made the request in 2001 before Judge Murphy for Kay to adopt our two youngest girls, he said: “People come to me all the time trying to get out of their responsibilities as parents, and you’re willingly stepping forward to parent these children. It’s in their best interest to have two parents if possible, so I grant the adoption.” The pride in having our family legally recognized and protected filled the courtroom.
We were also the first same-sex couple to get married in Sheboygan County. In 2014, when Wisconsin Chief Justice Abrahamson ruled the amendment to the Wisconsin State Constitution banning same-sex marriage was, in fact, unconstitutional, we immediately headed to the County Clerk’s Office, obtained a marriage license and waiver of the five-day waiting period, and within hours got married on the beach at King Park with only two of our children and three friends in attendance because we felt the need to move quickly before there was a stay.
The applause from onlookers whom we didn’t know was gratifying. Then, a year later, right after the U.S. Supreme Court decided that the 14th Amendment requires all states to grant same-sex marriages and recognize those that have already occurred, we had a wedding celebration with more than 100 friends and family at that same spot on the beach. It was a wonderful day as we shared our love and our pride in being “us.” We still drive past the park and proudly say, “We got married here, twice!”
We have lived through years of fear and anxiety about being who we are, and even now, writing this column, some of that rises to the surface. However, we have put those feelings away; after 35 years together, raising four children who are making positive impacts, and enjoying four delightful grandkids, we are proud to say we are a family just living our lives in Sheboygan. We are more like other families than different. We volunteer, mow our lawn, pay our taxes, and spend time with our neighbors and friends.
Here’s to pride and love, for everyone. Let’s celebrate!
This article originally appeared on Sheboygan Press: Celebrating our love and our pride in being ‘us’: Second in Sheboygan Pride Month series
Reporting by Kathi and Kay / Sheboygan Press
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