I’m afraid that Natalie, the love of my life for the past 40 years, has ventured off the deep end. It has to do with Juliette, her (fairly) new cat, who has perhaps the chilliest personality I’ve ever seen in a non-feral creature.
She apparently likes to have her head skritched, but reacts passively. She never comes to me, and while she seems to tolerate Natalie, she is not enthusiastic. Occasionally, she will issue a bite.
Now Natalie, who loves all cats (as do I), is having none of this. She wants Juliette to play as other cats do, and to ask for a lap and cuddles. And occasionally the cat seems to go along, but only briefly.
As it stands right now, our house has turned into an ammunition dump of increasingly elaborate cat toys. There is the huge donut thing she’s supposed to shelter and play in, but ignores. There’s the hi-tech scratching panel that she once looked at. And there is the Rechargeable Zoo in our kitchen.
The R.Z. collection includes the crazy rechargeable cat ball, and the rechargeable flapping fish, the fake rechargeable Roomba automatic robotic vacuum cleaner, and now there’s the rechargeable chirping bird. This last cast member hangs from a string and begins flapping its wings and chirping (loudly) if a cat gives it a poke.
Juliette ignores them all, but it is seldom that I can walk to the refrigerator without setting off at least one of our domestic land mines while the cat in question slumbers on a kitchen chair. This is particularly invigorating on a quiet night, when I inadvertently awaken several of our several of our robotic guardians and thus perform modern dance.Natalie has taken to each of them, cleaning and recharging them as necessary. She wishes she could do the same with the cat.
Juliette does do a few cat things. She sleeps with Natalie, but I sense that my beloved is afraid of being clawed in the face, as has happened on several occasions. During the day is the opportunity for “sparkles” (Natalie’s term) either from the laser pointer or from Natalie’s watch reflecting sunlight. For these, Juliette is animated, aggressively pawing at them as they land on the clothes dryer or the refrigerator. This, and feeding time, are the only times we get an indication that we have a live cat instead of one more rechargeable character.
It is clear that we don’t know what to do, for Natalie is unhappy and I am too. The matter is currently under consideration, but Corporate has ruled that we’re keeping the cat.
Mark Kinsler, kinsler33@gmail.com, lives with Natalie and that cat in our little house in Lancaster, where we strive for satisfying lives.
This article originally appeared on Lancaster Eagle-Gazette: Our aloof cat ignores our rechargeable zoo of toys
Reporting by Mark Kinsler, Special to the Eagle-Gazette / Lancaster Eagle-Gazette
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