CANTON TWP. — Joseph Traciak still gets a twinkle in his eyes when he tells the story of how he won over the father of Kathleen Caulfield, the woman who would become his wife.
On Feb. 19, the Canton Township residents will celebrate their 71st wedding anniversary with a bus trip to FireKeepers Casino in Battle Creek.
Joe is 93. Kathy is 90. Both point to the same pattern for creating a lasting marriage: work through the hard days, say you’re sorry and move forward together.
“We have good days and bad days,” Kathy said. “Most of the time we get along real well. He’s never declined anything that I’ve ever wanted.”
“We do have arguments,” Joe agreed. “I get mad at her and she gets mad at me, but I always apologize to her and she has the heart to forgive me.
“I tell her ‘I’m sorry for what I said or what I did, I’m asking you for your forgiveness.’ And she says, ‘Okay, I forgive you.’ And we go back to normal again.”
A six-pack of Goebel
In the early 1950s – before Elvis Presley was a household name and before most Americans had a television in the living room – Joe and Kathy met through mutual friends in Detroit.
She was, as Joe remembers it, “just tagging along,” when a friend came to visit. He was quick to take notice and asked Kathy if he could take her to see a movie.
“I liked her looks,” he said. “After that, I didn’t see any other.”
But he’d heard Kathy’s father was “a bull,” and knew he’d need a little strategy to win the man over.
“My dad was very strict,” Kathy said.
So before he arrived at the home on a mission for permission to date Kathy, Joe stopped at the corner beer store and bought a six-pack of Goebel beer, which he’d heard the man liked.
After handing over the beer, Joe said, ‘I’d like permission to date your daughter.’”
Kathy’s father asked the requisite questions: ‘Does she want to date you? Did you ask her mother?’
Then, Joe remembers, the man “got a big smile on his face” and nodded at the Goebels.
“He said, ‘You going to have one with me?’”
As the men talked, Joe warned Kathy’s father he’d joined the U.S. Navy and would be soon be heading for the Korean War aboard the USS Helena. He was gone four years.
‘I didn’t think she’d wait’
While he was away, Joe and Kathy stayed connected by mail.
“I wrote her just about every day,” he said. “I told her how much I missed her. I told her, ‘I think I’m in love with you.’”
“I didn’t think she’d wait four years,” he said. “Most girls don’t want to wait four months for a guy, let alone four years. But I kept writing her steady.”
And Kathy wrote back regularly. The exchange of letters kept the relationship alive until Joe came home.
On Feb. 19, 1955, shortly after he received an honorable discharge, the couple was married at St. Hedwig Catholic Church in Detroit, close to where they’d both grown up.
The couple moved around the city several times in the early years as family needs changed, but it wasn’t long before they bought a new-build, three-bedroom home in Taylor for $13,000.
Later they moved to Woodhaven, where Joe was about a mile from the Ford plant where he worked. Kathy found employment as an office manager for an insurance company in downtown Detroit, a position she kept for 28 years.
Over the years, much of their social life revolved around simple routines and shared hobbies: They bowled in a Sunday league with friends and family, often heading out to dinner together afterward, and later in life enjoyed trips to Las Vegas, winters in Gulf Shores, Alabama and occasional outings to the casino – small traditions that kept them active and connected to the same circle of friends for decades.
Later, they moved to a Westland condo before finally settling into the immaculate two-story Canton Township condo they’ve now occupied for about 25 years.
‘As long as we can’
Today, they share household responsibilities, with Joe on vacuum duty and Kathy handling the dusting, cleaning the upper and lower levels of their home on alternating days.
“I don’t expect her to do all this work by herself,” Joe said.
Both Joe and Kathy say they’re in good health, but they’ve had their challenges.
In 1998, Kathy had a quadruple bypass after a heavy feeling in her chest triggered a scare and a call to 911.
“I don’t seem to have had any repercussions from that,” she said, noting doctors at the time told her she’d be “lucky to get 10 more years.”
And Joe recently gave up his driver’s license after he experienced a short “black out” on the road.
Today, Kathy does the driving for short trips to Meijer, hair appointments, nearby doctor visits and church, every Sunday, at St. Thomas a’Becket Catholic Church in Canton.
When longer trips are needed, their daughter Cheryl Smith, the couple’s only child, handles the longer hauls across town.
Cheryl described her parents’ marriage as a steady example of partnership and hard work, saying it was “a good example for me” as she built her own life and family.
Now widowed, Smith helps care for her parents and keeps the family connected, staying closely involved in the day-to-day.
“I am blessed to have my parents in my life,” she said. “They taught me good family values, good work ethic and to be kind and helpful, which is now an important part of my everyday life.”
As they continue into their seventh decade of marriage, the goals are simple.
“Just good health and to able to take care of ourselves for as long as we can,” Kathy said. “I don’t know if that’ll be forever, but as long as we can.”
Contact reporter Laura Colvin: lcolvin@hometownlife.com
This article originally appeared on Hometownlife.com: ‘I didn’t think she’d wait:’ Canton couple celebrates 71 years of marriage
Reporting by Laura Colvin, Hometownlife.com / Hometownlife.com
USA TODAY Network via Reuters Connect
