This Mother’s Day won’t be a simple one. To be honest, none have been in our home.
I struggled to have children. After years of infertility — marked by repeated waves of hope and crushing disappointment — my two incredible sons joined our family through in vitro fertilization.
At the time, I thought the road to motherhood would be the hardest part of my journey. Then came a pandemic, lockdowns and solo parenthood.
I’ve been a single mother for more than three years, raising my sons without their father, who died last summer. This isn’t my first Mother’s Day without him, but it has hit harder than I expected. Some days are like that.
I’ve done my best to support and strengthen my boys in every way I can. I survive on caffeine, adrenaline and the ability to give myself grace on incredibly difficult days. I’ve also been blessed with the unwavering care of a small, special circle of friends.
I struggle most days. But I also feel empowered and capable. I’m proud that I’m still standing tall.
Everyone gets overwhelmed, no matter their situation. Despite what I can only describe as intense flares of grief — followed by waves of relief, guilt and everything in between — I try not to let my circumstances control my life, even during moments that leave me gasping for air.
As a parent, you put it aside. You move forward with your children’s needs front and center. Of course, you care for yourself, too — whether that means taking a walk, punching a pillow, baking sweet treats or decluttering your home.
You make it work. You get through it.
One practice I’ve found helpful is looking for a glimmer: a short checkout line at the grocery store, a front-row parking spot at the museum, a compliment from a stranger or a bear hug from my child. They may seem simple, but they mean so much. They offer hope — faith that the tide will turn, or maybe already has, as a soggy spring gives way to sunnier days.
So hug your loved ones tight. Be present. Love big. Live fully.
Spend today with the people who matter most. For us, that’s exactly what we need.
This article originally appeared on Rochester Democrat and Chronicle: ‘You make it work.’ A New York mother’s emotional Mother’s Day reflection
Reporting by Victoria E. Freile, New York Connect Team / Rochester Democrat and Chronicle
USA TODAY Network via Reuters Connect
