WESTFIELD – Charvarius Ward trotted up to the media scrum with his heart on his sleeve and his ‘why’ on his hip.
Twelve months prior, the All-Pro cornerback in his first training camp with the Colts found himself showing up to Grand Park every morning because he had to. Football had become a job, and his $54 million contract with Indianapolis served as a portal meant to transport him away from the physical reminder of the darkest days of his life.
Darkness followed anyways.
As he braced for the one-year anniversary of his daughter Amani Joy’s death last October, there were days Ward could hardly get out of bed. Couldn’t turn on the lights without wincing. Couldn’t walk around his new, empty home without the nausea coming back. Two concussions less than a month into his Colts tenure had throttled him physically in ways he couldn’t ever have imagined. His daughter’s death due to heart complications in October 2024 haunted him in ways words wouldn’t do justice.
Some days he was depressed. Others, anger took center stage. And some, too, they battled for control over the Super Bowl-winning corner’s mind. ‘(Expletive) football. (Expletive) this money. (Expletive) any type of fame. Don’t care for none of it. Lost without my baby,’ Ward wrote on Instagram last fall while sidelined six weeks with his second concussion of the season.
Just a couple weeks after his return, his third concussion in less than three months ended his season. His father was begging him to let it end his football career, too.
“I’m not trying to have migraines and headaches for the rest of my life,” Ward told reporters during locker clean-out day in January. “I’m proud of the career I’ve had and I’ve made a lot of money. I feel like I’m taken care of, and my family’s taken care of, so if I come back or don’t come back, I’m going to be living the life I’ve wanted to live and be happy.
“If I walk away, I feel like I’ll be happy. I won a Super Bowl. Played in (more) Super Bowls. Made hella money. Made Pro Bowls. Made All-Pro. I did everything I wanted to do, so I feel like if I walk away, I won’t regret it. I’ve got a lot of life to live outside of football, and I’ve got to think about my family and kids, too.”
But when Ward sat down and agonized over his decision this spring, he realized his son, Junior, as well as the memory of Amani Joy, wasn’t so much a deterrent to keep him away from football as it was the fuel that could help him return to the player who once was.
“It feels good, feels like I belong out here. I was probably 85% sure I was going to retire (this offseason), but I found a different ‘why’,” Ward told reporters after Day 2 of Colts training camp. “Just doing it for Junior, doing it for Amani. They bring me joy, put a smile on my face. They put me in a great emotional and mental state to (be able to) come out there and play and have energy and run around with these young guys.
“If I’m depressed, I’m not going to want to come out here and chase around these young guys, but I feel good. I’ve got a lot of energy. I’m smiling again. I think I feel like I belong out here.”
He should.
Within moments of each other, the Colts’ All-Pro starting corners – Ward and Sauce Gardner – batted down balls in team drills during Day 1 of camp Wednesday. After Gardner was acquired in early-November at the trade deadline, the pair managed to play a single full game sharing the field – the ends of both their seasons mired by injuries. Their potential as one of the best cornerback tandems in the league is expected to be the fulcrum that defines the success of Lou Anarumo’s defense in 2026, allowing safeties to ballhawk, linebackers to eat up the middle of the field and edge rushers to record more than just a bunch of near-miss sacks.
But there’s no pressure to perform for Ward. The 30-year-old isn’t playing to earn another big multi-year deal, after making nearly $70 million so far in eight years, still with two more seasons to play on his contract. He’s checked the ‘Pro Bowler.’ ‘All-Pro’ and ‘Super Bowl-winner’ boxes. He’s forced 13 turnovers – including six in his 2023 campaign with San Francisco – and knows what the satisfaction of scoring a touchdown in the NFL feels like.
Ward is playing football because he wants to. Because he’s good at it, and because he’s found a way to play for something, instead of in spite of his demons. He’s not worried about making mistakes, because surrendering a catch or a touchdown pale in comparison to the wars that have been waged in his own mind for things that have nothing to do with football. And now, he gets to do it all with his fiancé, Monique Cook, and son right there with him.
The corner held Junior on his hip for six minutes Thursday as he took questions, the 1-year-old silently but playfully reaching for the mic and adoringly looking up at his father. Once they were done, Ward, Cook and their son sat on the back of a golf cart as it whisked them away from the field Ward had to force himself to walk out to a year ago when playing football was the job, but also the last thing he wanted to be doing.
Football no longer feels like that daunting responsibility, but an opportunity to show himself – and Junior, too – that the player he once was is still in there, now powered by joy instead of fear.
“I’m super motivated. I don’t want to come out there and be average, knowing that I’ve been at the top. I don’t want to come out here and feel like I’ve lost a step. I still feel like I can move just like I did when I was 25, 26, 27,” he said. “I still feel like I’ve got speed. So as long as I’m out here smiling, in a great mood, I’m gonna bring great energy and go and ball out and do everything right – practice, walk-throughs, meetings. And good things are going to come for me.
“It’s not like I’m in a great mood every day. I wake up and will be sad some days, like, ‘Damn, do I really want to come out here and practice? I’ve got everything I want.’ But then I think about my ‘why’, and I come out here and ball out for Junior. Go out there and ball out for Amani, and intrinsically within myself, I feel like my purpose is to bring joy, bring happiness and love to the people around me.”
As much juice as his interceptions and pass breakups can bring to a defense sorely in need of playmaking during the Colts’ seven-game skid last season, Ward says he wants to lead with his infectious smile and jovial nature. He knows what playing happy can do for one’s soul.
“Making great plays, making great memories will give you a great feeling. It’s not about catching interceptions but making my coaches happy, making my teammates happy, so we’re all celebrating and making great memories and great experiences,” he said. “That’s part of the reason why I came back. That’s part of the love and joy I can bring.”
Joel A. Erickson and Nathan Brown cover the Colts all season. Get more coverage on IndyStarTV and with the Colts Insider newsletter.
This article originally appeared on Indianapolis Star: A year ago, Charvarius Ward didn’t want to play football. Then, he found his ‘why’
Reporting by Nathan Brown, Indianapolis Star / Indianapolis Star
USA TODAY Network via Reuters Connect
By Nathan Brown, Indianapolis Star | USA TODAY Network
