If I were soon going to be history, my last meal would delve into my dining history. If sentenced to the grim prospect of an electric chair, lethal injection, hang man or firing squad, I would choose dishes from memorable kitchens. The food would provoke memories I had at historic restaurants. My whole life would be “dished up” right before my eyes.
I would start with three of the colorful (literally) 25-cent, candy-flavored martinis from Commander’s Palace, the turquoise and white-striped, circa-1893 mansion in the Garden District of New Orleans (three is their limit). Commanders Palace is also famous for its’ turtle soup, a rich, brown, roux-thickened, sherry-sweetened, creole concoction I probably dared to order only because I had slurped up the three martinis first, because yes, it is actually turtle.
London’s La Famiglia Ristorante, for nearly 50 years, has been drawing diners to Chelsea for the rich recipes that were the favorites of its founder, Alvaro Maccioni, Britain’s late Godfather of Italian chefs. His daughter Marietta and her partner Fabio Cozari, in the crisp, classic, cucina, carry on the Tuscan tradition I take a transatlantic flight each year to taste.
For Italian food in Italy, hands-down the butter chicken at Trattoria Sostanza in Florence occupies my mind. Da Ivo, in Venice, is a favorite with movie stars during the annual film festival – the world’s oldest. In September, stars George Clooney, Adam Sandler, Laura Dern and Naomi Watts filled the intimate space in one sitting!
Celebrities in Hollywood love the chicken parmesan, and their names on the menu, at Dan Tana’s, a 60-year-old “red sauce joint.” Superstar chef Massimo “Michelin-Starred” Bottura’s Gucci Osteria is near there in Beverly Hills, and I’d buckle-up for his famed tiny tortellini and colorful, reinterpreted recipes at Cavallino, his restaurant at Ferrari headquarters in the “Motor and Food Valley” of Italy’s Emilia-Romagna Region. Chef Bottura told me his desired last meal would be his mother coming alive to cook for him once more. Dolce!
Another eatery on my mortality menu that has served its time is Joe’s Stone Crab Restaurant, which opened on Miami Beach in 1913 and, even though seasonal, is America’s top-billing restaurant. (By coincidence, Joe’s manager Jose Uchuya visited the aforementioned Da Ivo this summer and described it as Venice’s best restaurant.
Diners sometimes wait two hours for a table, though I suspect Al Capone, Frank Sinatra, George HW Bush, Larry King, and Jackie Gleason and other notables who frequented Joe’s found a fast track.
I remember hearing that, during the South Beach Wine and Food Festival, celebrity culinary fashionistas Guy Fieri, Robert Irvine, Daniel Boulud, Emeril Lagasse, and Bobby Flay were welcomed for a tasting lunch by Andre Bienvenue, Joe’s executive chef for decades, in a room off his kitchen. Literary figure James Bond, in Ian Fleming’s 007 novel “Goldfinger,” cited the sweet meat of Joe’s crab claws as the finest meal he had even eaten.
As a young man, I was so excited to follow in their footsteps to the famed Joe’s Stone Crab that I drove into a rainy downtown Miami late in the morning presuming I would be able to find it…as if it would be drawn to it like a shining restaurant on a hill.
Now, each time I make it to Joe’s, I ask the tuxedoed server to start with a split of champagne to celebrate the mere fact I was seated amidst that evening’s 2,000 diners amongst who will chomp their way through supper under the soaring ceiling of the classic, 500-seat, main dining room.
Joe’s longtime general manager Brian Johnson tried to convince me to begin my meal by enjoying the world-famous key lime pie instead of as desert at the end. I would be forced to confess, if sworn-in under oath, I once ate two slices of the tangy, cold, creamy slice of secret recipe heaven in one sitting. (Joe’s new manager, Jose Uchuya, can attest to it.) The Graham cracker-crusted confection is served on a cold plate and topped with a cumulous cloud of whipped cream.
I favor Joe’s crab bisque, and a half-order (which is massive) of their impossibly crispy and soft, buttery hash brown potatoes, which the server covers with a linen napkin after spooning my first portion on my plate. I dab, instead of catsup, some of the Joe’s mustard sauce normally used for stone crab claws, on the potatoes.
And, believe it or not, at a restaurant that owns its own boats to ensure fresh seafood, I order the fried chicken. Joe’s tradition has always been to ensure there is one entrée item under $10 so anyone in the community can afford it: winner, winner, chicken dinner!
It is not the first time the faux pas of an unorthodox order in a famed fish house occurred.
My radio producer Tony Cuthbert lunched with me at another historic seafood restaurant named “Joe’s:” Joe Muer’s. Which for almost as many years, has been Detroit’s version of Joe’s in Miami: shrimp cocktail and chowder at power lunches placed by black tied servers.
We were meeting CBS superstar sportscaster Jim Nantz, who was in the Motor City to call the play-by-play action for the Lions vs. the Green Bay Packers game. It was Tony’s first trip to Joe Muer’s…and his first time meeting Nantz, who travels to broadcast sites for a living and loves both Joe’s Stone Crab and Joe Muer’s.
Pad and pen in hand, the server asked Tony for his order. Amidst the live lobster tank and the chilled crab legs, calamari, iced sea bass and salmon, the young man said, “I will have the meatloaf, please.”
At that moment Nantz, in his unmistakable voice that has been heard on televisions across America narrating the NFL, PGA Tour, and many NCAA basketball championships, said, in a tone of disapproval, while shaking his head as if he were watching a missed field goal: “Tony…Tony…Tony…”
My local Lansing favorites are the penne pasta alfredo at Dusty’s Cellar; Spag’s pepperoni pizza in Williamston; and, up-north, the beer-battered potato cheeseburger at the Railside Bar & Grill in “downtown” Elmira near Gaylord.
Contact Michael Patrick Shiels at MShiels@aol.com His new book: Travel Tattler – Not So Torrid Tales, may be purchased via Amazon.com Hear his radio talk show on WJIM AM 1240 in Lansing weekdays from 9 am – noon.
This article originally appeared on Lansing State Journal: Shiels: A journey for your last meal? Here are delicious, historic suggestions
Reporting by Michael Patrick Shiels / Lansing State Journal
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