Holding the title of Ms. Senior California comes with a lot of responsibilities. You have to embody the “Age of Elegance,” inspire others and give back to your community. Reigning Queen — and Rancho Mirage resident — Holli Kenley takes all of that very seriously whenever she wears her crown and sash.
But one promise she made made years ago has been the most important lesson, not just during her pageant reign, but also through life.
In May 2023, Kenley’s son-in-law, David, died suddenly from complications from a stroke. After his death, her family was thrown into “horrific grief,” she said. In the weeks that followed, Kenley reflected on David’s life, particularly his “zest for his professional field and work” and “insatiable thirst for joy.” One day, as she was walking around a lake in Calistoga, she decided to make a change.
“What I promised myself, and I made this promise to David to honor him, was that I was going to seek out more joy in my life,” Kenley, 73, said. “I made that promise not even knowing what that meant.”
It eventually led to the world of pageants with Ms. Senior California, which she won earlier this year. Now she’s on her way to the Ms. Senior America Pageant, where she will represent the state alongside other queens from across the country and U.S. territories. The competition will be held Oct. 7 through 9 in Atlantic City, New Jersey.
Not only has the experience allowed her to step out of her comfort zone and taught her valuable lessons, but she “had no idea the joy it would bring to other people,” the Rancho Mirage resident said.
Serving her soul’s purpose
Prior to her royal duties, Kenley spent decades in Coachella Valley classrooms before pursuing a career as a licensed family and marriage therapist, which came as the result of her own mental health struggles.
“What I was struggling with back in the late ’80s … was called premenstrual syndrome, and really everybody just made jokes about it. It was really hard to find help for it,” Kenley said.
She started her own support groups in the early ’90s for women experiencing the same issue, later renamed premenstrual dysphoric disorder, and authored her first book. Wanting to help more people out, especially those she had to refer to counselors, motivated her to pursue a degree. Over the years, as she has worked with people of all ages, Kenley said she is “really proud of everything that I have accomplished.”
But following her son-in-law’s death, she realized she needed to make a change.
“One night when I was in therapy, the therapist said to me, ‘If you want to go down a different path, you’re going to have to let go of some things.’ I said, ‘Well I understand that, but I don’t think I can,'” Kenley recalled. “She said, ‘All your life, you’ve been serving your role’s purpose, and now I’m going to challenge you to serve your soul’s purpose.'”
Finding joy in many forms
On her newfound journey of joy, she was ready for wherever it took her. But she didn’t expect for it to lead to the Ms. Senior California pageant.
The Rancho Mirage resident said she was never part of any beauty pageants growing up, nor could she recall how she came across the competition. But after looking into it, she decided to submit a letter of interest. As the weeks rolled by and she didn’t hear back, she soon forgot about it.
But in January 2024, she was contacted to complete a phone interview and application.
“It was very long, very intense, and so I’m questioning all of this at the time. Is this what I want to be doing?” Kenley said. “But in that promise that I made as I was working on myself in therapy, I thought, I have to remain open. I kept saying try different things.”
By March 2024, she was officially accepted as a contestant in the Mission Viejo pageant.
The goal of the Ms. Senior California pageant is to find “the gracious lady who best exemplifies the dignity, maturity and inner beauty of all senior Americans,” according to its website. Contestants are judged in four areas: a personal interview (30% of the score), evening gown attire that represents the “Age of Elegance” (20%), their “philosophy of life,” which is essentially a personal statement (20%), and a talent portion (30%).
Her first time competing had new experiences and learning lessons. Kenley recited an original poem called “Where is Your Beauty?”, and she noticed it landed with the younger people in the audience, but not so much with the overall crowd. She also experienced walking in “three-inch heels in one direction and looking out at an audience in a different direction,” Kenley recalled.
Though she came in third place, she said it was “so much fun” and that “there was so much joy.” Inspired by the women around her, who were “so beautiful and kind and generous,” the Rancho Mirage local decided to compete the following year.
Knowing what to expect this time around, she changed things up for the talent portion in order to entertain the audience. She bought herself a new flute, took lessons, practiced for months and played a flute operetta.
That, plus a mission statement that encouraged doing good work, helped clinch her win earlier this year. Even more special was that the then-reigning queen Liz Palmer, also a Rancho Mirage resident, gave her the crown.
“When she put that crown on my head, I just felt the joy overflowing in my body,” Kenley said.
Since her win, Kenley has attended parades and speaking events all throughout the Coachella Valley and California, where she’s had her family cheer her on and the opportunity to meet other seniors. There’s a lot of excitement whenever she’s in her crown, gown and sash — senior men are “really jazzed” whenever they see her in her regalia, she said with a laugh — but it also means so much to her fellow women.
“Once you reach your 50s and then definitely as you approach 60s, sadly we as women become pretty invisible. We’re not seen, we’re not valued. We have the self-value and that’s what we learn to do, but there’s certainly a huge shift that happens there,” she said. “With our mission being that we are to represent the dignity, maturity and inner beauty of all women, when I do that and show up in this role, senior women come up to me and they’re in tears. They’re so happy that they’re being represented.”
‘We just don’t know what we’re missing’
Just days away from representing California at the Ms. Senior America National Pageant, Kenley said she’s ready for the adventure.
“I’m at the point when you’re preparing for something that is like, ‘OK, it’s time,'” Kenley said. “A couple little anxiety dreams have come through that let me know, OK, you’re ready.”
California/Coachella Valley queens have a good track record at the national pageant. Palmer was named third runner-up in the competition last year.
In addition to the competition — preliminary rounds are on Oct. 7 and 8 and the final is scheduled for Oct. 9 — Kenley said she is looking forward to a week of activities and time spent with other fabulous women.
“I’m going to just go and do my best and enjoy it and experience the joy of it all,” she said. “Liz told me from last year it is an incredible week.”
Coachella Valley residents can also show support for Kenley, or any other contestant, by voting for the People’s Choice Award at https://tinyurl.com/MsSeniorAmericaPCA. Each vote costs $1, and proceeds support the Ms. Senior America National Pageant.
As Kenley has found a way to take a deeply devastating experience and open her mind to new opportunities, she hopes that encourages others, especially older residents, to take leaps of faith in their lives.
“Sometimes we get stuck as we get older and we don’t think we can do something, or we don’t want to step out of our comfort zone. And we just don’t know what we’re missing until we then do that,” Kenley said. “We have no idea what joy, in whatever form it takes, is awaiting us.”
(This story was updated to add a video.)
Ema Sasic covers entertainment and health in the Coachella Valley. Reach her at ema.sasic@desertsun.com or on Twitter @ema_sasic.
This article originally appeared on Palm Springs Desert Sun: This Rancho Mirage local made a promise to seek joy. Then she won Ms. Senior California
Reporting by Ema Sasic, Palm Springs Desert Sun / Palm Springs Desert Sun
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