By Frank Bublitz
Holidays can be a stressful time. There is no way to escape stress. However, the art of improv can provide some ways to help you cope with that stress.
You can play games during holiday parties. But some games you play before the parties can help you deal with communication problems that lead to extra stress. Also helpful is the old saying by Dale Caregie. He famously asked, “Do you want to win arguments or do you want to win friends”.
The games I refer to are called 60-30-15 and Three Second Speech. Each one helps refine your ability to listen to an entire message before thinking of a response. That is the most frequently cited communication issue that causes friction between people. They also help you find areas of agreement, even empathy, that seems to be missing when you disagree with someone.
The way you play 60-30-15 is like this:
Choose 2 players
Choose a type of business, such as a grocery store
Choose the relationship between the two
Child-parent
Boss-worker
Frazzled Elves/co-workers
Choose a task to start with to which they may add other tasks as they go along.
Then you give them a minute to think of what they are going to do. When they begin, whoever says the first sentence chooses which character to become. “Son, let’s find Mom a present” is an example of how that works. Even if that person is child to the other player, that person becomes Dad. And that can be fun!
The players stock a shelf, play with imaginary toys, do cleaning, or other physical stuff to go along with what they talk about.
The key to doing the 30 and 15 second scenes is to pick out of the 60 and the 30 second scenes the most memorable things you said and did. If you move around like the proverbial Chicken and talk a lot that will be harder. Get to the point of what you want to say, and move with purpose.
And friends, listening and moving with purpose are two things that help with getting along with people in meaningful ways. Here’s an example. Dad is very conservative and you are…not.
He goes into “wasted money”, and warns you that you could be bankrupted in the future. You may not agree. So, focus on you’re the real message, which might be “I worry about your financial future”.
The second game, Three Seconds to Speak, also helps with breaking the habit of only listening to part of what someone says. This is how you play.
Two players pick a place (environment) and a relationship. The first person who speaks picks the topic and makes a simple, clear statement to the other,
From then on, no one speaks for three seconds. First, the game leader counts out loud and uses his or her fingers. Secondly after some back and forth, the leader raises fingers one at a time. So, you have split attention between the scene and the leader, which further tests your attention and listening skills.
When the leader decides to, he stops counting aloud or using fingers. She counts three in her head. He stops the game if you do not wait your three seconds. He redirects or just plain stops your responses and then gives you another chance to speak.
So those are two games that I suggest that you learn and practice. You can reach out to me through Frank Bublitz on Instagram or Facebook.
Whatever you do, have play fair and have fun. Because fun IS healthy!!
