It wouldn’t be unusual to have a moment when you realize, not just on an intellectual level, but also viscerally, that someone in your life knows every inch of you, every side of you, every mood, every thought, every scintilla.
More importantly, you understand that this same person loves each iota unconditionally. This knowledge, offered freely and with no catches or obligations, is truly a remarkable present.
It appears almost indulgent to allow ourselves those moments of reflection when we are open to the perception of being totally known.
Many people experience that blessing through their faith; it has been non-negotiable from the first for them. Others need a lightning bolt of action or insight to rock their senses into believing.
As the world seems to spin out daily, complete with violence, with vitriol, with spite and threats, we may find ourselves sleep-walking through the days, longing to feel anchored to something.
The important task is to determine what to do when we catch the realization of unconditional love. Can we seize it and carry it forward to live authentically? Will it sustain us in a way to pivot from something that was negative before?
And what can we vow to honor that acceptance?
The Indian-Canadian poet, Rupi Kaur, wrote:
on days you can’t hear yourself
slow down to
let your mind and body
catch up to each other
If we can do that, maybe we will realize the enormity of having our faults forgiven, our short-comings absolved. And perhaps we can believe and behave similarly with someone else.
In the end, it is about honoring our neighbors’ and our community’s humanity as a thank-you for being recognized and acknowledged ourselves.
The extreme opposite of unconditional love and acceptance may be a concept I had not heard of until recently: “bell, book, candle.”
If I’m understanding correctly, this Roman Catholic ritual was first used in the 8th or 9th century and referred to people who had been convicted of such grievous sin that those individuals were excommunicated by anathema, a recitation of Latin phrases that expressed the horrid nature of sin and the result of excommunication.
To quote from Brittanica, the ritual consisted of “a bishop and 12 priests reciting a condemnation, followed by ringing a bell (publicity/warning), closing a book (scriptural authority/finality), and extinguishing a candle (extinguishing the light of hope/soul).”
The verbal ending of the ritual includes the bishop’s remarks about the deplorable sin and the 12 priests voicing, “So be it,” which in Latin is “Fiat!”
These days, the phrase is mostly used metaphorically; e.g. ghosting someone who has done something unforgivable. It has also been in pop culture, and there was a 1950 play with the title “Bell, Book, Candle.”
The Center for Law Enforcement Ethics has recommended a simple ethical decision-making model known as the “Bell, Book and Candle” System.
Quoting from Google AI Overview:
“[It is ] an analytical framework designed to help officers resolve ethical dilemmas:
All great questions, but is there a point to this mental cartwheel?
One current connection could relate to a swath of a individuals who put their faith, trust, funds, passion into one or more elected officials, believing that their interests would be honored at every turn.
Then, an unexpected and life-changing event (or events) occurred and, try though they might to see the good, the same group now finds themselves betrayed.
Do they hold on to their devotion and love unconditionally, or do they go through the three-tiered system of “excommunication?”
I recently had an opportunity to put the process to use when my husband and I traveled to the Pacific Northwest. I lived in Seattle throughout the 1980’s and have fond memories of the area. However, I also had some very troublesome remembrances and experiences there.
When we made the decision to make the area our vacation destination, it was akin to ringing a bell. (Am I pursuing a valuable choice?)
Traveling to several cities and towns and engaging in many outdoor activities helped purge the anxiety I remembered from my time in that territory. I was mostly able to close the book on that phase of life.
Our wonderful experiences this month gave me the opportunity to extinguish the candle of distressing flashbacks to that era, and now provides the chance to re-visit the 1980’s with a tabula rasa.
I don’t see that as excommunication; I view it as a precious gift, one I will not squander.
This article originally appeared on Amarillo Globe-News: The Gift | OPINION
Reporting by By Andrea Elise, Special to the Amarillo Globe-News / Amarillo Globe-News
USA TODAY Network via Reuters Connect
