Intimate partner violence is a pervasive issue in the U.S. and it can be difficult to know what to do and how to get help if you or a loved one is experiencing it. 

Family and domestic violence affects an estimated 10 million people nationwide every year, with as many as a quarter of women being subjected to such abuse at some point in their lifetime, studies show.  

The abuse can be difficult to identify and often is not reported to authorities or healthcare professionals, experts say. Such violence includes economic, physical, sexual, emotional and psychological abuse. 

While intimate partner violence is a widespread problem throughout the U.S., it is particularly prevalent in Kentucky, which has one of the highest rates of domestic violence in the country. 

Here’s what experts in the state have to say about red flags that intimate partner violence might turn deadly and about helping victims of abuse.

Warning signs of violence turning deadly

“It’s really important to understand there’s no way to know exactly when intimate partner violence might become intimate partner homicide,” said Allison Brown, senior program specialist with ZeroV, an organization that advocates for survivors of abuse in Kentucky. 

Brown said the goal of intimate partner violence is always for the abusive partner to maintain control over their significant other, and once that control starts to slip away, the abusive behavior may escalate.

However, she said intimate partner violence doesn’t always follow a “linear progression.” 

“Unfortunately, when people use violence as a tool to maintain that power and control, it could become a homicide at any point,” Brown said. 

Christy Burch, CEO of the Ion Center for Violence Prevention, said that the most dangerous time for someone subjected to intimate partner violence is when they try to leave their abuser. 

Burch said that if the violence escalates over time, that could be a sign that the situation is becoming deadly.  

A “severe warning sign” that an abusive partner might kill their significant other is strangulation, according to Burch. Research shows that strangulation is associated with a seven-fold increase in the likelihood of a homicide occurring. 

“We cannot predict who might decide to murder someone,” Burch said. “However, we can recognize signs of lethality.”

What does helping a victim of intimate partner violence look like? 

Burch said an important part of helping someone experiencing intimate partner violence is to give them back their sense of power and control. 

While talking about abuse can be embarrassing, she said, the Ion Center is there to give people a place they can talk confidentially and without judgment. The center will also work with survivors to get what they need, whether that be clothes and housing, or even documents like driver’s licenses and social security cards.

“That’s why we exist,” Burch said. “I don’t want folks to walk this journey alone.”

Burch said that perpetrators of intimate partner violence try to isolate their significant others from family and friends. She added that it’s difficult for someone to separate themselves from an abusive partner, given the danger associated with leaving. 

“So, what we don’t want to do as family is get frustrated that someone stays in a relationship because there are reasons why they’re staying,” Burch said. She said to normalize check-ins and to offer support to those facing abuse, as ultimatums can cause further isolation. 

Brown said there isn’t a “one-size-fits-all” response to intimate partner violence, as each situation is different. She said advocates should work with survivors to discern their needs and short-term goals, help create a safety plan, and achieve those goals. 

She said there are many ways people can step in and offer support to someone facing abuse. 

“I think one of the most important things is just starting that conversation,” Brown said, adding that it’s essential to listen without judgment. 

She said it’s also good to encourage survivors to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline or offer to go with them to get a protective order or visit a service provider.

“Violence isn’t okay and everybody needs to do something about it,” Burch said.

 To reach the hotline, call 1-800-799-7233 or text “START” to 88788.

This article originally appeared on Cincinnati Enquirer: What are the warning signs that intimate partner violence may turn deadly? Experts explain

Reporting by Quinlan Bentley, Cincinnati Enquirer / Cincinnati Enquirer

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