MONROE, MI — Kaye Lani Rae Rafko-Wilson has many titles: Miss America 1988, registered nurse, community advocate, wife, mother, grandmother.
On Friday, June 12, she’ll add another title: retiree.
Rafko-Wilson has been part of Gabby’s Grief Center of Monroe since the beginning. On July 1, Gabby’s will celebrate its 25th anniversary.
“At 25 years, it’s time, and I am looking forward to this new phase of Life,” Rafko-Wilson said.
While she hopes to still volunteer at the center, Rafko-Wilson wants to spend more time with her granddaughters: Ivy, almost 6, and Savannah, almost 2. In September 2024, Rafko-Wilson, previously Gabby’s executive director, transitioned to the role of development director.
“You just know when it’s time for you to step aside. I’m slowly kind of shifting away. I can just focus on being a grandma. I know Gabby’s is in great hands,” Rafko-Wilson said on June 4.
In January 2025, Kate Longenbarger was named executive director of Gabby’s Grief Center.
“She’s the person to take Gabby’s into the next chapter of support. She has my support, 100%. We have a great team and a great board,” Rafko-Wilson said. “I’m so content. I’m very grateful for the time I’ve been with Gabby’s. I’m not too far away if needed.”
“She brings so much to the table through her fierce advocacy, her enthusiasm for life and her deep roots in the Monroe community,” Longenbarger said. “Kaye has dedicated decades to serving others, and her knowledge of this community, its history and its people has been an invaluable asset to Gabby’s Grief Center.”
Rafko-Wilson’s career was spent entirely in Monroe County.
“I was one of the few Miss Americas who remained in her hometown. I love Monroe. I don’t have any plans on leaving Monroe,” Rafko-Wilson said.
A graduate of Monroe’s former St. Mary Academy, Rafko-Wilson met her husband, Chuck Wilson, while working at the former Rauch’s Berry Farm in LaSalle.
After graduating from St. Vincent Medical Center School of Nursing, Rafko-Wilson worked as a registered nurse before becoming Miss America.
“Being the first nurse crowned, often health care facilities would want me to speak and do ribbon-cuttings at hospices, hospitals, cancer centers,” Rafko-Wilson said.
Inspired by her dad, the late Lonny Rafko, Rafko-Wilson sought out chances to interact with people. When she was 12, her dad told, while working on a school assignment, that everyone will have some expectations of her.
“He said, ‘Go one step further than what they expect you to do.’ I never forgot that,” Rafko-Wilson said.
So, while on the Miss America tour circuit, she would use her free time to explore communities on her own to share her platform.
“I said, ‘Can you get me to a school, nursing school, hospice? I want to talk to nurses. I don’t want to go back to the room.’ I got out there,” Rafko-Wilson said.
Rafko-Wilson is still remembered, 38 years after winning the crown.
“People come in (to Gabby’s) from all over the country to tour and get a picture with her,” Longenbarger said.
After her reign, Rafko-Wilson started Hospice of Monroe, which later merged with ProMedica.
In 1999, Jan Baden and Ellie Mruzek began talking about starting a free children’s grief program in Monroe. They asked fellow nurses Rafko-Wilson and Renee Darrow to help them.
Gabby’s Ladder, as it was originally called, opened in 2001, in a small Monroe building at Elm and Riverview.
“It was a single office in a historical home. We had one office space with three desks in it. Our dream was to get our own place,” Rafko-Wilson said.
Gabby’s added grief programs for adults in 2005.
In 2019, Gabby’s got its current space on North Monroe Street, across from the Mall of Monroe. The building and renovations were funded through donations from the La-Z-Boy Foundation and ProMedica Advocacy Area.
Today, in addition to grief counseling services, Gabby’s offers social wellness programs and year-round special events, like Camp Fearless for grieving children in June and a suicide remembrance vigil in September.
Gabby’s started by helping about 50 people a year. Last year, it served 4,100, Rafko-Wilson said.
“I look around and just say, ‘Wow,'” Rafko-Wilson said. “From a tiny little office space to all these community events. To see the growth in what we’re doing, it is only through God’s blessing. This is really His work. It’s just been an honor being on this journey and watching where Gabby’s has come from and where it’s going today. I’m always available to Gabby’s. This is my heart.”
Now, with more free time, Rafko-Wilson is considering what’s next.
“I’m a big supporter of our Walk for Life and Miss Monroe County, of course,” Rafko-Wilson said. “I might end up getting back into the speaking circuit. I’ll still be pretty active in the community, but I am really looking forward to the time I will have back with my family as it continues to grow and volunteering at Gabby’s.”
— Contact reporter Suzanne Nolan Wisler at swisler@monroenews.com.
This article originally appeared on The Monroe News: Kaye Lani Rafko-Wilson is retiring June 12
Reporting by Suzanne Nolan Wisler, The Monroe News / The Monroe News
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By Suzanne Nolan Wisler, The Monroe News | USA TODAY Network
