By Melissa Wrubel
That word … loss. Such a sad word to hear. The devastation behind that word is heavy; too much to bear at times. Yet we all know this word … often spoken in a shocking situation such as a sudden death of a friend or loved one, financial havoc, a shattered dream, or the demise of something very valuable. While every situation is unique, each experience contains unimaginable sorrow.
So how do we even begin to face the grief that consumes us at unexpected times in our life? Well, give yourself time to find your way through the grieving process. No one grieves exactly the same way, so feel no shame in letting your emotions free. You may actually feel numb and emotionless at first. Know that there is no absolute order to grieving, and that your grieving will never mirror anyone else’s. Some of the emotions you may have are:
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Truly facing the loss is the first step, and often the hardest part. If you don’t face the loss, it will resurface in other ways eventually. Dealing with the loss head-on is unpleasant and something we would rather avoid, but actually looking at the reality of the loss is what starts to set you free. Give yourself time to process each emotion. You may not understand what you are feeling or why a particular feeling is lingering longer than another, but it is normal and healthy when trying to come to grips with what has happened. Allow your heart and mind to mend as you fully accept the impact of your loss.
Mourning is a personal process and may last months, or sometimes even years. It is not an easy passage by any means. Surround yourself with people who love you and are compassionate. This step is crucial. We NEED each other and the care of friends and family at this time. Don’t feel guilty for accepting help … you would do the same thing for someone else in your position. Besides, loved ones WANT to help. Vocalize what you need from them, and take time to care for yourself. Sleep, eat healthy, take breaks if you need to. THIS TAKES TIME – one day, one hour, one moment at a time. And when your grief has subsided and warm memories take it’s place, you will be perfectly equipped to help another precious life work through their grieving process.