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Forgiving Friends in Frightening Times

By Annie Lane

Dear Annie: My best friend had planned a vacation to visit friends in Florida for several weeks. Despite being asked to stay home by our nation’s health care advisers, to stop the spread of coronavirus, she and her husband went on their vacation. When I told her I couldn’t believe they were still going, she said, “Well, at least we’ll be in warm weather.”

I consider it extremely irresponsible and dangerous that my friend and her husband disregarded the directive to cancel all nonessential travel to keep everyone safe. People throughout the country are stepping up, making the necessary sacrifices and staying home as we’ve been asked to do — and is often mandated now. I have four of the preexisting conditions that could make getting the virus very deadly. I am so furious at my friend and her husband for their reckless choice. How do I deal with my anger toward my friend and save this friendship? — Angry in New England

Dear Angry in New England: You have every right to be angry with your friend. According to the experts, to slow the spread of the virus and not overwhelm our hospitals and medical staff, who are working ’round the clock, we must all do our part and stay home. Everyone wants a warm-weather vacation. In normal times, I would say, yes, go take that well-earned holiday. But these are unprecedented times, and we all must stay home.

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Now you seem to be a very responsible citizen and already know that. I’m guessing that your friend is running scared. She doesn’t want to deal with the anxiety of what is going on in the world and thinks she can escape to Florida. It was a poor decision. That said, she is your friend and she made a mistake. We all make mistakes. But let it go. If you hold a grudge, then it will hurt you more than her.

However, once she returns from Florida, make sure she self-quarantines for 14 days before you get together.

Please be safe and well.


Dear health care workers, doctors, nurses, hospital cleaning crews, police officers, firefights and everyone on the front lines fighting this pandemic:

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

You go into the danger when most people run away from it. You put your own life on the line day after day and night after night, to protect those who are sick and need you.

You are soldiers in a different kind of war. A war against an invisible enemy. You exemplify courage and bravery. You might be scared, as is natural, but you go in despite your fear, for a greater good — to save lives.

I’d like to extend another huge thank-you to the grocery store workers, pharmacists, big-box store workers, mail carriers, teachers and so many others that are supporting society during these uncertain times.

The rest of us are being called upon to stay on the couch. The experts have said that the most important thing the average person can do is to keep your distance from other people, wash your hands and don’t touch your face. These seemingly small measures will make a world of difference.

Please stay home and do your part to stop the spread of this virus. And if you have access to medical protective gear, please give it to those who are on the front lines of this battle. We are all in this together and need to help each other. It is the only way things will get better.


“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2020 CREATORS.COM

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