Blue Water Healthy Living

Don’t Forget These Heroes

By Annie Lane

Dear Annie: My parents originally made me executor of their trust. My brother, who is now 59, caused them nothing but heartache and trouble. He was fired from three jobs that I know of, and he was given a dishonorable military discharge. He has never been close to my two sisters or other brother.

My husband died, and my parents both had dementia. My brother came to live with them and “take care” of them. My parents then made him executor of their trust.

Both of my parents passed of old age. We find out now that my dad closed the trust, all the safe deposit boxes and put everything, $700,000, into a JOINT checking account with my brother.

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None of us are included in the will, and my brother got it all including Mom’s jewelry. Is there a way we can sue him for fraud? — Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken: I am so sorry for your loss, not only of your parents but also your relationship with your brother. He sounds like a very unhappy person, which no amount of money will fix. If you can, first try and speak with him about all of this. Tell him you love him but that perhaps your parents, due to their dementia, didn’t meant to leave everything to just one of their children. That doesn’t make sense.

If he is completely unwilling to compromise or listen to you, bring in legal counsel. Because your parents had dementia when they changed their will, you might have legal recourse.

Dear Annie: I read with much appreciation your letter to health care workers. Thank you for the reminder that there are people out there who have given up their private lives for the good of the rest of us. I will not go into naming all, as you tried to do. My concern is somewhat personal, as I have a son who is a paramedic.

It seems as if paramedics and all emergency medical technicians are often left out of the papers and TV stories. Paramedics are often first at the scene, even before the fire personnel and police officers. They are the ones who must transport the individual to the hospital; they are the ones who must stay in the emergency room with the patient until the doctor or nurse has had time and opportunity to evaluate the situation.

Many times that can take a few hours. They put their lives on the line just like all the others who are always mentioned. The doctors and nurses, the fire personnel, and the police and sheriff’s deputies not only get the credit; they also get meals brought in. The paramedics don’t even get a hamburger.

Let’s not forget those we see but do not recognize because their title is not as impressive as others’. They work hard, and they work long hours. They provide a service that is essential but not often thought of.

Thanks for letting me vent. My son, and the sons and daughters of other parents, need the recognition their job deserves. — A Caring Parent

Dear Caring Parent: Paramedics and EMTs are indeed heroes during this pandemic, and we thank them for all of their hard work. You have every right to speak up for your son, and I can assure you that we all appreciate what him and his colleagues.

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to


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